An Irrational Fear of Mine

This is the last day I have of the 7 in 7 challenge and I'm running low on things to write about. But last night I was thinking about what people don't really know about me and I finally thought of something: my irrational fear of haircuts. 

Okay here it goes, it's been almost FOUR years since my last haircut. That's longer than I have known my husband for. I know that's weird, and my hair is unhealthy. But it's very unlikely you'll find me at the hair salon anytime soon. I've used several excuses as to why I won't cut my hair, with the most dominant one being that it's very expensive to get a good haircut. I realized that was just an excuse when my sweet sister offered me a good haircut. 
Every time I've gotten my haircut since I was young I walked out with hair at chin length and tears in my eyes. The first one I can remember being when I was around nine. I asked the hair dresser to make me look like Cinderella (I was nine give me a break) but she must have thought I said Snow white because she cut all of my hair off. 

This became a pattern in my life with the most recent occurrence also being my last haircut. I never intended to have my hair that short but after it was done I was glad for about a day because it angered the boyfriend I had at the time whom I happened to be mad at. Someone should have told 15 year old me that I was insane. I guess I REALLY hated the haircut because when I went looking for pictures my hair was either in a tiny ponytail or I had extensions in. I did find a couple pictures though, here's one. 

Ever since then I have not trusted hair dressers. My husband suggested some time ago that I get a mommy haircut before the birth of Ezra and I just about lost it. After he mentioned it I began having nightmares about it and I woke up almost in tears. As I showed my husband pictures of my short hair he said "to be honest I like your hair much better short." Short hair? Again?! Does he know how many years I waited for my hair to grow back?

I don't know why the thought of having short hair freaks me out so much. I wonder if I just don't like change when it comes to my appearance. I guess I like being used to what I see in the mirror. Hopefully my child won't get his first haircut before mama gets one. Maybe one day I'll get the courage to get a haircut, for the sake of my husband. What's the longest you've ever gone without a haircut?


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